Ca dating marriage love me love
"I never wanted to separate," he says, "but she wanted to go and I couldn't stop her." In his heart, though, he knew she was the only woman for him and that he had to get her back.
So he bided his time, slowly working his way back into her life, on her timeline.
At least he doesn’t hit me or fool around.” (I honestly heard this from many women not that long ago.) These were the mantras that we repeated to ourselves every day that kept (and continues to keep) toxic, dysfunctional relationships alive much longer than is healthy for either partner. Anti-social behaviour is anything that keeps us from truly connecting to others. The key is to own them and not expect people to just “be OK with it”. In the Western world, we tend to focus on the outside – the covering – of our our lives. This is the struggle of many relationships when they stop putting their energy towards their partner. Sometimes, when we are single, we have the idea that our life will be fun once we have a partner.
We can see the controlling behaviours, the addictions, the manipulation and the drama and when faced with the choice to be alone or join in…
We stayed together for the kids, for ease, for pride, religious, legal or financial reasons. Or being moody – and saying that it’s “just who we are”. You might be loved for who we are, but that doesn’t mean that the person you’re interested in wants to join in a union with you. These traditions teach us to look at who we are with kindness and love – so that we can be honest with ourselves, heal what’s broken, and become the person we truly want to be. If all of their energy is elsewhere, the natural magnetism between you simply goes away. This means that you will always be riding on their coattails which will eventually get old for them.
When nobody can leave, all kinds of bad behaviour is possible. Or being passive aggressive constantly telling “jokes with a jab” and wondering why everyone is “so sensitive” today. All of these things keep distance between ourselves and others. If they can’t connect with you because of the defensive walls you’ve built, then there’s no point being with you. If you walked up to any spiritual teacher of these traditions and said, “I am too defensive and passive aggressive in relationships and want to change”, you will get wonderful guidance to help get you started. Your passive attitude towards the relationship literally “de-magnetizes” your connection. If you aren’t independently fun, your partner will know that you are relying on them for entertainment (we live in a society dependent on constant entertainment).
So, it’s common to later choose addicts (of all sorts) with the secret desire to help them – when the truth is that you’re simply enabling them (your friends tell you this all through the relationship). To have true union, there must be magnetism between you – otherwise you will naturally drift apart. Imagine times in your life where you feel a strong attraction towards someone. But once we hit adulthood, there is a tendency to become stagnant in our personal growth – especially when it comes to relationships and our emotional health. Built on a foundation of passion, trust, and mature love. That we are designed to be THIS intimate and experience such incredible pleasure!!
Or maybe we didn’t get the attention we needed growing up, and so we perpetually choose people who don’t pay attention to us and put nothing into the relationship, secretly hoping that one day, someone will love us enough to care. Because of course, this kind of growth has never really been before. We are now able to grow beyond the relationships of old – of obligation and forced union. Her goal is to de-mystify this ancient teaching and share it with everyone!! And we all deserve to feel that kind of pleasure, happiness and connection!!