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The answer may be that some men view relationships in terms of power and control.
They believe that being real men means never giving up your power.
The Four Horsemen are Criticism ("You are always whining"), Contempt ("You're a basket case"), Defensiveness ("I'm not the problem, you are!
") and Stonewalling (withdrawing or becoming silent).
We want to feel that our partner cares about and respects our feelings. We want to feel supported, soothed and that we are not a burden.
The first thought I had was, "Why do men find it so hard to validate women?
" Before I get into this, I'd like you to think about the research by psychologist John Gottman.
If it's not working -- and you and your partner both know it's not -- then maybe it's time to think about making a change.
You can change your partner -- break up, get divorced.